Feel No More (Feel No Less)
by isaacswolfsbane
Summary: Pansy's had a shitty night. She thought a house party with her friends would make it better, but things just get so much worse. (warning for drug use and overdose)


**QLFC Round 3 – 90s Nostalgia!**

Arrows, Captain – Pulp Fiction.

Thanks to Amber for the last minute beta :)

* * *

 **Feel No More (Feel No Less)**

"Okay, I have one," Blaise says. "Never have I ever had a threesome."

Pansy happily takes a sip of her drink, perfectly proud of having done so, and watches the rest of the group. It's not something she's ever really spoken about with her friends so she's interested in how the rest of them answer. Draco is the first to take a drink. Pansy isn't surprised; Draco isn't happy until he's done everything his friends have and more. What does surprise her is the seemingly accusatory look Theo shoots at Blaise before taking a sip himself. Pansy can tell there's a story there, she just has to wait for the right moment to find out. Seconds later, Blaise takes a sip himself and Daphne throws a nearby cushion at him. It nearly knocks the drink from Astoria's hand as she takes a sip too.

"The game is _never_ have I ever, not 'say things you've done so you can gloat'," she tells him with a scowl. Pansy wonders if it's just because she's the only one who hasn't taken a sip.

Astoria shoots up, raising her voice before Daphne can cause a scene. "Me next! Never have I ever been engaged."

She smiles down at the ring adorning her finger before moving her gaze to Draco who smiles back at her before both taking a sip. Pansy rolls her eyes as she drinks herself. The pair have been sickening since getting engaged. Well, Astoria has. Draco's been himself just a little less sullen.

"Who were you engaged to, Pans?" Theo asks, eyeing her hand suspiciously.

Pansy shakes her head. Sometimes it's like talking to a sieve with her friends; they never remember anything.

"Draco. It may have been arranged and it may have fallen through, but it still counts."

Pansy stands and heads to the kitchen to refill her drink. She isn't drunk enough for this yet so she adds considerably more vodka to her drink leaving a lot less room for the cherryade she pours in after to sweeten the taste.

When she goes back to the living room, the boys are all patting Blaise on the back. Pansy isn't sure she wants to know what for, but Daphne leans over and whispers, "It was 'never have I ever had sex outside'." Pansy rolls her eyes—of course, it would be something like that to get the boys all riled up.

"Alright, Pans, you're up," Draco tells her.

She wants to take it back to saying things they haven't actually done instead of people showing off so has to think for a minute before anything comes to her.

"Never have I ever… done drugs," she admits. "Muggle drugs, that is."

Blaise and Theo are quick to drink, but Pansy already knew they would be. Draco follows suit soon after, as do Daphne and Astoria. Merlin, she didn't think she'd be the only one. Apparently, she greatly underestimated the amount of time the others spend with Theo and Blaise—she can't think of anyone else that would have provided them all with Muggle drugs, most of the other Slytherins they're still friends with have their own magical alternatives.

Theo is the first one to notice Pansy hasn't taken a drink and he sputters out half a laugh as he asks, "Really? Never, Pans?"

Pansy shakes her head. She's starting to wish she had chosen something she had done if only to get rid of the shock on her friends' faces.

"Well," Theo says when the silence starts to drag on. "I guess it's a good thing I brought these." He pulls a bag of white powder and a bag of something green that Pansy suspects is weed from his coat. "Draco, you have tobacco, right?"

Draco nods, fishes a packet out of his pocket, and tosses it across the circle to Theo. Pansy watches as he rolls what looks like a normal cigarette, if a little thicker at one end, and stands, beckoning for Pansy to follow him out to the balcony.

"You have smoked before, right?" he asks when they're alone. Pansy nods. "Right, so basically smoke this like a cigarette. It might not affect you right away, it doesn't always the first time, but I'd wouldn't suggest smoking too much just in case."

Theo lights it and takes a few drags before passing it to Pansy. She takes a drag herself and forces herself not to cough. It doesn't quite feel like a normal cigarette, but she can't put her finger on how.

The game carries on when Theo and Pansy head back inside. She isn't really feeling any of the effects from the weed and as Draco and Astoria start getting closer, flaunting their relationship in a way Pansy can't be certain isn't directly aimed at her, Pansy's sips become gulps in her desperation to get drunk and both her and words actions get sloppier. Not that she notices the last part, though.

* * *

"My turn, yeah?" Pansy slurs. "Never have I ever come out to my parents only to have my father both punch and disown me." She looks around for a second before bursting out into hysterical laughter and downing her drink.

When the laughter turns into hysterical crying, Daphne shakes her head. "Okay, you've had too much," she says, pulling the now empty cup from Pansy's hand. "I'm cutting you off."

Pansy tries to grab for the cup back but misses wildly and ends up on her side.

Daphne kneels down next to her and waves at the others to leave her alone for a minute. Blaise and Theo seem to take this as their key to leave as moments later she sees Theo winding his scarf around his neck as they head out of the door. Draco takes Astoria's hand and the pair disappear in the direction of the bedrooms. Daphne hates to think what those two will get up to.

"Pans, what happened?" she murmurs, pulling Pansy into a more upright position.

"I told my father I was bi and had a girlfriend," Pansy whispers. Her voice is so quiet Daphne has to bend closer to her to hear the words. "He told me to stop being so ridiculous and come to my senses or to get out of the house and never come back. Then he punched me." Pansy's sobs are less hysterical, but as she talks, Daphne can still see the tears rolling down her cheeks. "You know, when the engagement to Draco was cancelled I thought I'd hit rock bottom, but apparently rock bottom has a basement. I thought tonight would be a way to escape it all. I thought 'hey, a house party, that'll be a fun way to get my mind off things' but that isn't what's happened at all and now I'm making you miserable."

"Oh, don't think like that." Daphne puts an arm around Pansy and pulls her into a side hug. "You haven't hit rock bottom at all. We all knew you and Draco would never be anything more than a friendship, and you're being true to yourself now. Embrace it. Be who you want to be. If your father can't handle it, you still have us. I love you, Pans, but you really don't think things through enough."

Daphne hopes her words of encouragement get through. She gives Pansy one last squeeze before standing up. "I'm going to fetch you a glass of water, okay, hun?"

Pansy doesn't reply and Daphne heads to the kitchen. As she passes the balcony, she sees Draco having a cigarette and goes to join him. He held out a packet of cigarettes as an offering for her to take one.

"I thought you smoked roll-ups," she said as she took a cigarette from the packet.

"I left my tobacco in the living room. Didn't want to disturb you and Pans so Stori gave me hers," Draco explains, passing his lighter to Daphne. "How is Pansy, anyway?"

"She's a bit worked up about the stuff with her father but, well, that's only to be expected. I think she's calming down now, though."

Daphne takes a long drag of her cigarette as she mulls over which of the questions plaguing her mind to ask.

"Who do you think Pansy's girlfriend is?" she asks. It isn't the one she really wanted to ask—she wanted to ask about Draco and Astoria, but that's a question she'll save for another day.

"I don't need to guess," Draco says, a smug grin on his face as he takes a drag of his cigarette. "I know."

"She told you?" Daphne asks incredulously. "I've been asking her for weeks and she won't say anything."

Draco rolls his eyes. "Of course not. Pansy's full of secrets, you think this would be one she'd be willing to tell? I saw them together the other week, I forget where."

"So who is it?"

Draco takes another drag, clearly enjoying keeping Daphne waiting. "Weasley."

Daphne inhales too quickly and chokes on smoke.

"You're joking! I'm going to have to get the story of how that happened out of her." Daphne throws her cigarette down and stubs it out with her foot. "Anyway, I should probably go and check on her."

Daphne heads back into the apartment, stopping off at the kitchen to fetch the glass of water she promised Pansy. When she reaches the living room, however, she wishes she hadn't. The glass smashes at her feet, drenching the lower part of her legs as she runs over to where Pansy is laying at the foot of the sofa, mouth foaming and blood running from her nostrils.

* * *

Pansy isn't sure when Daphne leaves the room, but suddenly she's alone and she doesn't want to be. She tries to call out but her voice doesn't want to work. Her glass is at her side but only dregs remain. She longs for it to be full, to get drunk enough that she feels something because currently she feels numb inside and she hates it.

The table still holds the bag of powder Theo brought and Pansy limply pulls herself to it. The weed hadn't done anything for her, but the powder is probably stronger. She hopes it's stronger. In the movies, people always cut up the powder with a card of some sort and snort it, so that's what Pansy does. She fishes a card out of her purse, pours some of the powder out of the bag, and clumsily hits at it and moves it around until it's in neat little lines. Then, she bends low to the table and snorts. One minute there are six or seven lines, the next there are none and Pansy is pouring more powder out of the bag, repeating her actions once more.

It kicks in as she's finishing the second lot. She feels alive, as if nothing can harm her, even her father who's stood in front of her, fists clenched.

 _Pansy's father cracks his knuckles. "No daughter of mine will be with another woman. I forbid it. Break up with this girl immediately."_

"No!" Pansy says, shakily getting to her feet but making sure she's standing her ground.

" _I know you're only doing this to rebel. It won't work on me, little girl."_

"I love her!" Pansy says defiantly.

" _Maybe this will change your mind."_

 _Pansy's father brings his arm back and smashes his fist into her face._

She can feel the blood trickling from her nose and she crashes to the floor, her already aching head smashing into the side of the sofa as she falls. The last thing she can remember thinking before her world goes black is, _There isn't a sofa in my father's study._

* * *

"Draco!" Daphne screams.

She rushes over to Pansy, her hands flailing as she tries to find some way to help. She has no idea where to start, though.

"Fuck," Draco says when he sees Pansy. "Call Theo, explain the situation. I've only just started training but I know some basic diagnostic spells. I'll cast those, find out what's wrong."

Daphne races to the coat stand by the door and grabs her phone out of her coat pocket. Her hands are shaking as she unlocks it and presses Theo's name to call him.

"Come on, pick up you bastard," she mutters into the phone. He picks up after the third ring.

" _Daph, it's nearly three in the morning. This better be important."_

"Pansy is passed out on my floor, foaming at the mouth, and has blood running from her nostrils. I think that's pretty fucking important, Theo."

" _Shit, right. How did it happen?"_

Daphne spots the open bag on the table and realises what happened a split second before she notices Draco do the same.

"Your fucking drugs, Theo. I left her to have a cigarette and when I came back she was on the floor and the bag had been opened. What the fuck was that stuff?"

Daphne can hear Theo gulp.

" _I think that may have been heroin."_

"What the fuck, Theo?" Daphne shouts startling Draco who sends a glare her way. "I'm bringing her to your house. You caused it, you can fucking fix it."

Daphne hangs up the phone and turns to Draco. "What say you, Healer Malfoy? Can she Apparate or Floo?"

"Floo would be safer," Draco tells her, hoisting Pansy into his arms. "Let's go. I'll text Stori when we're there to tell her what happened."

* * *

"Theo!" Daphne screams as she steps out of his fireplace. "Theo where the fuck are you?"

Theo stumbles out of his bedroom at the same time Draco come through the Floo with Pansy and lays her on the floor.

"Blaise!" Theo calls. Blaise pops his head out of the bedroom. "Go fetch the adrenaline shot from the fridge."

Blaise practically runs to the kitchen and is back before Theo has even had time to assess the situation properly. He hands the package to Theo who rips it open, grabs the needle and fills the syringe with the liquid.

"Right," he says to Daphne, holding the needle out. "You want to put this straight in her heart."

"I'm not doing it," she says defiantly. "Your drugs did this, you should do the shot."

"I've never done this before," he says, thrusting the needle at Daphne more forcefully. "Besides, you brought her here. When I bring someone overdosing on drugs to your apartment, then I'll administer the shot."

Daphne rolls her eyes but grabs the needle, desperate to save her friend, unwilling to be responsible for her death. "Right, where exactly is the heart? I don't want to put this in the wrong place."

Draco is over in a split second, pen in hand as he draws a bright red circle just to the left of Pansy's cleavage. "You've got more tissue to go through there so you're gonna have to jam it in real hard," he tells her.

Daphne takes a deep breath to ready herself before slamming the needle down as hard as she can and pressing the plunger.

Seconds seem to stretch for hours as they wait for Pansy to respond to the adrenaline. Just as Daphne is about to ask how long it takes, Pansy shoots up. Her breath is shallow, her eyes are darting everywhere.

"Well, I'm a headcase," Pansy says, a dry laugh forcing its way from her mouth.

Daphne sighs in relief. She isn't sure if Pansy has learnt her lesson or not, but she's alive and that's all Daphne cares about.

* * *

 **Word Count:** 2,590.

* * *

 **This is for:**

 _ **Hogwarts Assignment 12 – Muggle History;  
**_ _Task 2 – Write about someone breaking the law._

 _ **Hogwarts Yearly Event – 365 Prompts;  
**_ _261\. (sexuality) Bisexual._

 _ **Hogwarts Yearly Event – Insane House Challenge;  
**_ _517\. (action) Drinking._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Character Appreciation;  
**_ _11\. (character) Pansy Parkinson._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Disney;  
**_ _T1 – Write about someone trying to run away from their problems._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Showtime;  
**_ _6\. (dialogue) "Embrace it."_

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Amber's Attic;  
**_ _3\. Write about someone getting drunk._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Buttons;  
**_ _O2 – Scarf.  
D4 – "Well, I'm a freaking headcase."  
W3 – Encouragement._

 _ **Hogwarts Writing Club – Em's Emporium;  
**_ _P1 – Write about hitting rock bottom._

 _ **Hogwarts Seasonal Event – Days of the Year;  
**_ _World Gin Day – Write about someone getting drunk._

 _ **Hogwarts Seasonal Event – Birthstones;  
**_ _Alexandrite – "I thought I'd hit rock bottom, but apparently rock bottom has a basement."_

 _ **Hogwarts Seasonal Event – Flowers;  
**_ _Cosmos – (title) Feel No More (Feel No Less)._

 _ **Hogwarts Seasonal Event – Shay's Musical Challenge;  
**_ _Fun Home – Write about coming out of the closet._

 _ **Hogwarts June Club – Debate;  
**_ _Family vs._ _ **Friendship**_ – _(word) miserable._

 _ **Hogwarts Fortnightly Challenge – Best Friend's Day;  
**_ _13\. (character) Daphne Greengrass, (action) crying._

 _ **Hogwarts – Chocolate Frogs Club;  
**_ _(silver) Pansy Parkinson – Write about Pansy Parkinson._

 _ **Hogwarts June Event – TV Addicts;  
**_ _Skins – (plot point) a character takes drugs, (event) house party, (action) smoking._

 _ **Hogwarts – Film Festival;  
**_ _21\. (word) secrets.  
37\. (plot point) coming out._

 _ **Hogwarts Northern Funfair – Ghost Train;  
**_ _Compartment 15 – (word) Death._

 _ **Hogwarts Eastern Funfair – Ferris Wheel;  
**_ _(character) Daphne Greengrass._

 _ **Hogwarts Southern Funfair – Bumper Cars;  
**_ _Yellow 8 – (word) remain._

 ** _Character Diversity Bootcamp;  
_** _Pansy Parkinson, (word) rest  
_

 ** _Favourite House Bootcamp_** _ **– Slytherin;  
** (word) half_


End file.
